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Epiphany day - Speak Friend and Enter
Grammar and Lord of the Rings
Epiphany day
I have made 2 startling revelations today. They are basically the reason that I am in such a good mood right now.

The first. In the last couple weeks mostly, my attitude has made a change for the better. I have become less likely to care about other people's perceptions about me. I am being much more open with myself and not really caring what the world thinks about it. I thought of a great line today on the way home: "I need to stop trying to make myself more attractive, and let people be attracted to me for what I am". Because I don't want to live some other way. I like who I am. That feels good to say. (er, write) Can't remember the last time that thought crossed my mind. Wow. So, the epiphany itself: I believe that by purposely thinking over how I was actually feeling, seeing what might have caused it, walking through it, I was able to get away from that and free myself from the ensuing depression.. I finally found a useful purpose for logical thinking without sounding like a pretentious asshole for always saying that logic is this great thing. It has caused me to find value in the important things. I kept thinking that was what I should be doing, but I finally did.

The second epiphany. OK, a lot of people have probably figured this out. Actually, I think I saw a post on it. But I'm not sure how often it's really practiced. It's something I tried to make myself believe, apparently before I was ready. But I am fairly certain that I am ready now. It is this: tell people exactly what you are feeling. Do not hold things back. Nobody knows when the last time they will see someone, or talk to someone, will be, so treat every moment with people as if it is the last. I don't think people really hear enough good things about themselves. Most are shallow. I told Torry today that I respect her. And I meant it. There is little else that can make someone feel as good inside as when they are complimented meaningfully. "You are hot" does not count. Be original. Seek to be unique. Find that thing that people gloss over and make it hugely important. What is the point of being cliched? You are not remembered. (Thanks Marie). When you feel like saying something, say it. Don't be embarrassed. Don't think it's silly or trivial. I was wondering if what I had to say to a friend of mine was really just me overreacting. I don't believe that is the case. If you think something is important, then it is. If someone can't handle it, it's their loss. Not yours.

We are given one shot at life. Make the most of it. Regret should be the only dirty word you will ever know.

I really surprise myself sometimes.

Currently Blasting: In Flames - Moonshield

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