Log in

No account? Create an account
spilled brain matter accomplices history of the disturbed inside a demented mind My Website Previous Previous Next Next
Tonight's Movie Review is brought to you by the letter F and the number 18 - Speak Friend and Enter
Grammar and Lord of the Rings
Tonight's Movie Review is brought to you by the letter F and the number 18
OK, "Red Planet".

Terrible movie. Just awful. And it started out so promising!

The basic premise is this: 50 years from now, Earth is in danger of becoming contaminated to the point of no longer being habitable. So several probes are launced to Mars and through some miracle of science (read: I forget the exlanation) a bunch of algae starts growing, so that their is oxygen in the atmosphere. Ya know, because plant life produces oxygen. The algae is sustained by melting the polar ice caps, which are composed of CO2. Anyway, at some point, the oxygen levels start to drop so a team is sent to investigate.

Now that would seem like an interesting movie. If they didn't totally ruin it, that is. Which cliche do you want first? How every member of the team, save for one, was subsequently killed off one after the other? Or how the last guy was rescued at the very last possible moment when all hope was lost?

If they didn't try to appeal to the action fans, or the suspense fans, or yes, even the horror fans, it could have been so much better. I would really like to ask the writer what the hell he was thinking when he included AMEE, the renegade Marine robot. See, AMEE was supposed to be this useful motorized companion - nevermind that it looked and moved like the skeleton of a big cat and was quadruple-jointed. The AI was pretty advanced in this thing. See, it was made for the Marines, so it had a military mode. Why it was not removed for this mission, I'll never know. When the ground crew finally touched down on the planet surface, AMEE was damaged and reverted to Military Mode. You can guess what happens after that, I suppose. It only successfully killed one person. I just don't understand what possible point there was to having it in the movie at all.

The deaths, likewise, were totally pointless. Benjamin Bratt's character? Fell off a cliff. Thats it. He got punched and off he went. WHY?

I am going to be more critical of movies now because I'm reading "Story" by Robert McKee, considered by most in the business to the bible for screenwriting. Even if I hadn't read this yet, though, this movie would get zero stars. Maybe half a star for seeing the profile of Carrie-Anne Moss' naked body.
Do me