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The background: So I'm sitting at work today, looking up what… - Speak Friend and Enter
Grammar and Lord of the Rings
suffocated
suffocated
The background:

So I'm sitting at work today, looking up what exactly constitutes a Social Science degree, because a friend of mine is pursuing it and I was curious. After I satisfied my curiosity there, I started browing other degrees on Sac State's site. At first, I looked at a few I thought would have made interesting alternatives, such as Biology and Mechanical Engineering. The common theme among them was a lot of math and science, classes I haven't taken in years. I also looked at languages, but little beyond that.

The results:

It got me to thinking...my English degree has not challenged me. It's essentially been a lot of reading and writing, which for me requires very little effort. I don't have to study, I rarely have to work hard. In a way, it's useful because I don't have to kill myself to graduate. But something I know about myself, but had forgotten, is that I need to be challenged. I always thought it was interesting that my best year of college was the one where I took calculus, physics, programming, etc. For example, my 2nd semester at Sac State: Programming Concepts and Methodology I (C++): B; Calculus II: A; General Physics-Mechanics: B. I had a few other classes, but they were in Communications and English. Of course, the next semester it all went to hell, and I had more Physics, Logic Design, Programming II and Differential Equations. I pretty much gave up at that point, but I'm not sure why. Bad timing, I guess. But I digress. My feeling is that I did well that semester because I had a challenge, and I had to work hard. I'm not saying classes later weren't hard, but something else happened to make me stop caring. My point is that I seem to get bored when I'm not challenged. Work is a great example. Nothing I do is hard, or requires much thinking, and that sucks. I'm bored to tears. It's like somewhere along the way, I stopped believing in my own intelligence. I absolutely crave an academic challenge. I'm really smart, but I let other things get in the way of that.

The future:

Now what? I almost feel like getting an English degree has been a waste of my time. Sure, I might find a job, and it might even be interesting, but part of me thinks I could have done so much more. I'd need to be independently wealthy at this point to go back for something else, since having my options limited to the evening or online reduce the kind of degrees I could go for. Basically, I would love to just start over and do something else, one that kept my mind sharp. I think the best chance I have for that is to go after a language, which is something else I gave up on years ago, even though I take to them very quickly. It's also probably the best chance I have for travel. My preference is to learn Mandarin. I need to think more. I really don't enjoy feeling like the last 9 years have led in the wrong direction.
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